On my way back to Malta

Im at arlanda airport waiting for my flight that leaves early tomorrow morning. All-in-all, this trip will take 25 hours, 7 of those I will spend in Hamburg waiting for my transit flight. Earlier tonight I called my sister Rebecka to say goodbye and  also while away some hours.

Rebecka: Oh I hate waiting. What will you do in Hamburg for 7 hours?
Me: I dont know, I downloaded some movies, but it is so hard to understand how long 7 hours are before you actually sit around and wait.
Rebecka: Yes, it is like when I was a kid. I really wanted to see this tv-show, but it started after 2 hours. So I asked dad how long two hours were. He said it was quite long, but not superlong. So I decided to sit and stare at a clock until the show started. Two hours felt like forever!
Me: You were the strangest kid! It is like the time when you saw some teasers for r another tv show and you sat up and waited and waited until you fell asleep!
Rebecka: Oh yes, that was the time I learned the diffrence between "coming soon" and "coming up next".

BINGO with consequences

A tradition in Sweden the day before Christmas Eve is to play Bingo. Almost everyone who is "middle class" eats a ham sandwich (special christmas ham), dreams about winning the big cash and watch this awful tv show with swedish boy bands covering christmas carols as a entertainment between the Bingo games. In Sweden we call it "Uppesittarkväll" which is translated into "stay up all night, watch crappy TV and then complain about the fact that you never win, promise yourself that next year, we will not watch this shit or play this game ever again - but then next year, ofcourse you find yourself sitting there again".

Anyhow. The Christmas edition of Bingo is a bit different, which means that on each row, you can win different things if you get Bingo. For example, you can win 25000 swedish kronor (2500 euros), a dream vacation  or a new smart phone.

This year I found myself experiencing the "Uppesittarkväll"-fenomena once again, with the difference that this time, I won. I got BINGO! But I did not win a new car, I did not even win 100 kronor (10 euros). Instead, I won two schratching lottery ticktes.
 

Me: What?! This is the first time I got bingo ever, and I dont even get 100 kronor. I will just get two lottery tickets and the chance that I will win money on those is even smaller than the chance I had to get bingo!
Mom: What, no! This is perfect! We will go and collect the lottery tickets on monday - and we will become millionairs!
Me: You know, that when I was young, you told me that if you win a lot of money on lottery tickets, you had to go to see a shrink!

This little girl was afraid of spiders, ghosts and winning money.

Mom: I did not!
Me: Yes you did, and for several years when someone gave me a lottery ticket, I was afraid that I had to go to therapy. You know that 25 kronor (2,50 euro) was a lot for a kid! I was afraid that I would go insane!
Mom: Well if it makes you feel better, I can get the tickets, keep the money and you can just go insane. I think you need some help anyhow.

Whatever does she mean?!

Nu vet man att man är hemma

Jag har lämnat Malta bakom mig för att som den julfascist jag är, fira en klassisk svensk vit underbar hysterisk jul hemma i Dalarna. Idag anlände jag till Falun efter att ha färdats i 24 (!) timmar. Min låtsaspappa Per hämtade upp mig hos mina kusiner och öppnade upp bakluckan för att jag skall kunna slänga in min väska.

Per: Oj, här låg det ju ett däck.
Jag: Den måste ha däckat här.
Per: Ja men det är ju för att det är (h)jul!

Jocke VS Albin

This is the story about a love triangle, well it is not the real story, just the ending.

Sorry you guys, this is a private joke, but if you dont mind, you can watch it anyhow to see the revival of music videos. Not that this is the new cool place to check out awesome videos or anything, but at least Im showing one music video this year...that is more than you can say about MTV.

A walk to remember

Im out walking with Erik.

- Gabbis, you are like an anchor.
- I keep your feet on the ground and balance you in your life?
- No you drag me down with you. 

Whatever does he mean?

Found it!

When you move to a new country, there is a lot of bureaucratic and practical things that you need to fix. Like finding a place to live, getting a bank account, get a maltese ID. Since I didnt even know where Malta was located when I on a whims accepted the job I got here, I had even less knowledge on how to get all of those things.

But I was lucky. A guy called Erik who started the job at the same time as I did, had already lived here for 6 months and he taught me every thing I needed to know. Even though he is a nice guy, to be humble about this has not been his greatest strenght. According to him, he is wiser, smarter, a faster drinker and apparently BETTER AT CREATING MENTAL PICTURES (prff) than I am.

But the other day, he found out that you needed a national insurance number before friday - otherwise they would deducte your salary. I was calm, because I already got it a loooong time ago. The unthinkable then happened, Erik asked me to guide him to this place so he would not get lost.

Apparently, he doesnt read my blog and have not read this post, or this one and ESPECIALLY not this one. And I was not about to tell him, because tomorrow, THE STUDENT BECOMES THE MASTER.

Gabbis - the Maltese Guide

If I dont get lost that is, because when I went there, I took the bus, then I walked in circles for two hours and accidently found it after sitting on a bench, almost giving up.

Subtle messages

Today I found a white board at work with a picture of all the french people working there. I decided to not give up hope on my french love - and sent him a message...

Why you should never talk while being drunk.

Do you guys remember the french guy that Im stalking at work? The other day I learned his name - still have not learned any french though - but at least I can look at his profile pictures at facebook. Yesterday, some of my coworkers and I celebrated Swedens win and went out.

There I met some french guys and we soon realized that they work for the same company as me. After a while, the subjects of conversation started to run out, so I decided to tell them of my eternal love. Yes, I used that term "eternal love". I continued on describing how I had stalked him on facebook - that he is the BEST LOOKING GUY IN THE WORLD and that I would marry him in heartbeat. I also described our future together, with nights in the south of france - drinking wine and enjoying classical music etc etc. I seriously held a 15 minute monologue about "how awesome this guy is" - please remember that we only have said hello to eachother.

This morning, I realized what I had done - but figured that they probably would not remember this conversation since they were a bit drunk as well. I came to work, went in to the kitchen - and there he was - my eternal love. But instead of saying Hello - he looked petrifiyed and ran out of there as soon as he could.

So I guess I have to find another french love to adore - and probably keep quite about.

Varning! En ordvits!

Jag sitter på jobbet och beklagar mig för min arbetskamrat Anton över att alla röster jag hör när jag har öroninflammation låter som robotar.

Anton: När jag var liten opererade jag bort halsmandlarna, då hade jag en jättepipig röst.
Jag: Va, på riktigt, hur pipig då?
Anton: Pipig.
Jag: (Försöker göra en pipig disneymus-röst) Heeej det är Anton.
Anton: Ännu mer pipigt!
Jag: Hur är det ens möjligt? Var det alltså mer: Hej jag är DiskAnt-ton?


Lite irrelevant, men det fick mig att tänka på det här:

Ordinary (and very boring) blog update

Hola los gentos!

Sorry for the bad update, but my life is a bit crazy right now. I dont think I´ve slept since 1997 (actually, I took a nap about 5 hours ago, but this day has really felt quite retro). The last couple of days Dajana and I hanged out (until she sadly had to leave), Ive been working, eating fish, being a turist, drinking some random afternoon beers, got a promotion, and also; got rehired by my old job. So right now, my schedule is a bit hectic with a hysterical schedule:
05:30 Wake up.
06.10 Actually wakes up.
07.00 Start work
15.30 Finish work
15.30 - 16.00 Walk
16:00- 18:00 Free time aka buy food, cook food, eat food,watch Jersey Shore.
18:00 - 23.30 Work for my other job.
23.30 Brush teeth
00:30 Fall asleep while watching an episode of the Smurfs.

So basically, I do everything besides sleeping. This morning when my alarm went of I could not understand what the alarm wanted me to do. After snoozing for half an hour - I figured out it was a sect and that I should keep my eyes closed. 10 minutes before I was supposed to go work - I figured out that Eye of the Tiger  by Survivor (my alarm clock song) probably didnt want me to go all crazy religious, just wake up.

But on monday, I finally have my first day off in like 10 days. I promise to re-appear here then. For now, here is at least proof that Im alive!

Nam nam nam

Gabi as a Maltese Guide

Guess what! One of my most awesome, smart and funny friends is here visiting me! Dajana arrived last night and this is what I have showed her so far.

Occationally being lost

The house of our Lord

The historical sites

A book club.

I so wish that I had come up with this joke

The Cure?

You might wonder why I am at wake at this hour. There are many reasons why I shouldnt be. For one, it is 2 o´clock at night. Another is the fact that I start working tomorrow at 7 and my alarm is set on 5.30. Also a good reason to be asleep right now is that I only slept 2 hours last night and are absolutly beat! Yes, all of those reasons are valid, but Im not asleep because I have a fucking acute ear infection!

And I have no pain killers at home.

So I googled ear infection  HELP ME LORD and found this website that said that you should put an onion in your ear. First I could only find a leek, but there was a fitting problem there.

So now, Im awake. With a garlic in my ear!

(Jag ser lite lökig ut)

Update 03:04 Now I have the tast of garlic in my mouth. Namnamnam.
Update 09:00 Just to clarify, the garlic taste in my mouth came through my ear, I didnt eat it afterwards! Also, I have been at work now for 2 hours and still no one has said anything about the garlic smell from my ear. But at the same time, no one wants to sit next to me...
Update 12:28 Now Im high on Latvian drugs at work. WIIIIHII!

Enjoy?

At work, we never have our lunch at the same times, which means that you often sit by yourself while you eat your food. I don't mind, I often read a book or think about what I should blog about. Anyhow, people often come into the lunch room to get coffee or whatever. Many of them have a tendency to look at you a bit awkward and then proclaim: ENJOY!

Enjoying life

This confuses me so much. What are you supposed to say to that? "Yes I'm enjoying the food", "No I'm not enjoying this food", " You can also enjoy". It doesn't make any sense!

After thinking about this a whole lot longer than should be appropriate I today decided that "Thank you" is the best, but also the most boring, answer. So about 30 minutes ago, when I was in the lunch room, I was prepared.

Stranger: ENJOY!
Gabi: Thank yo...

And at this point I see how a half-eaten macarone comes out of my mouth and catapult itselfs through the entire room and lands on the strangers back.

Next time Im just going to nod, because I dont think that experience was enjoyable to anyone.

Romantic sunsets

The god Lord knows that Im not a romantic person at all. My body kind of chrinches when I hear about long walks on the beach, candle light dinners and writting love letters. I cant deal with the couples who just have to declare their eternal love for eachother all_the_time in the cheesiest ways possible.

Maybe that is why my romantic sunset experiences has not been that traditional. For one, it was not with the looooove of my life, it was with a 19-year old that I always call PP (and when we told people what Pierres nick name was, the seriously told him where the bath room was at). And also, the watching of the sunsets didnt go like planned. Both them were in Cambodia, and the other day I got reminded of this little memory and decided to write to Pierre about it:

Gabbis remenice:
A memory that came to mind:

Once upon a time BB and PP were in Phnom Phen and read in the guide book about this really romantic place next to the riverside. They went there just before the sunset, very very happy, looking forward to some beautiful scenary. The ended up next to the city dump, in like the poorest neighbourhood in Cambodia. At least they didnt get robbed.

And they live happily ever after. The end.

Pierre answers: A memory that came to my mind:We are seating on a temple in Siem Reap (the temple of death) and I really want to take a shit. No paper, nothing! Nothing but my guidebook about south east Asia... If you're planning to have a lesbian trip to East Timor Gabbi, just buy another guide!!

I can see now why Pierre said that the only song that could describe or relation was Bad Romance.

Malta ABC

Todays letter is N like in NOT A PLACE FOR A SHOPAHOLIC (or for any kind of shopping really).


Malta is an interesting country, but if someone say that you should go here and do some shopping. Dont. These are the reasons why.

1. It is impossible to find where the shops are located. Ok, there are two city centers (Valetta and Sliema) where you can find between 3-5 shops located at the same place. The other stores are located at strange places - upon mountains, down in valleys, behind strange corners, probably in caves. And they are as far from eachother that they virtually can be on a small island like Malta.
2. They are never open.  Some of them open maybe at 8, but the close again for siesta maybe around 1 if you are lucky. If you are not lucky, the close at 10, or whatever time the shop owner feels like it. And then they open again, like in whenever. But not after 7 in the night, and forget to go shopping at sundays. It is a freaking mircule actually that anyone can buy any kind of food in Malta, because the shops and even the food stores are always closed at normal hours.
3. IF you find a shop, and IF they are open, they dont have what you want. On saturday, I had a desperate hung over-craving for pizza. I walked around for almost an hour before I found a pizzeria that was open. I went inside and the following scenario took place:
   - Hi, I would like to see the pizza menu please.
   - No, we dont have pizza.
   - What? But you are a pizzeria right?
   - Yes.
   - But you dont have pizza?
   - No.
   - Why dont you have any pizza?
   - Why you come here at 2 o´clock in the afternoon on a saturday and think that we have pizza?
   - Eh, because you know, you are a pizza place?!
   - No. We already said we have no pizza. I can give you meat pie instead. Very good.
   - No thank you.

So yes, Malta I like you, but WTF, please give me pizza, not some strange meat pie! 

If Malta was a TV-show...

An anecdote from Gabbis life

The other day I was listening to a radio show and they were talking about waking up in strange places. That made me associate to the one time I woke up on a bus, which is not the strangest place, but the circumstances around it was a bit.. ehm.. different, if we say it like that.

Last fall was a crazy time for me. I had three different jobs, wrote my bachelor thesis and was the president of the european studies program student union, active in every kind of sub-organisation of the student union etc. On top of that I tried to manage to keep my social life alive. Anyhow.

This particular day, I had worked the morning shift (6-9), spent some time at the library, probably had some meetings, before I was going to make an appearance at a masquerade. Me and two of my best mates decided to do a concept out-fit. A very good concept. We even got a little prize.

Around 2 oclock at night, after eating some cheese burgers (yes, this is a very important part of the story), I decided to make my way home. I decided to wait for the bus for 20 minutes instead of taking the tram that left earlier, just to avoid walking. Ofcourse, because I had gone up at 4.30 in the morning I fell asleep on the bus. The tragic is that I wasnt even that drunk. And all of a sudden, a concerned voice woke me up. I was at the end station, and now I had to walk home, which took me longer than if I would have took the tram.

At least I wasnt afraid that anyone would molest me (except maybe the USA), because this is what I looked like that night:

So yes, I can understand why the bus driver, looked a bit nervous when he woke me up.

Hablo espanol?

A long lost dream of mine is to some day learn spanish (for some reason, I dont think that Donde esta Jose and Jose esta aqui will be enough when I move to latin america). So every now and then I decide that Im going to take an online course or buy a spanish learning book or whatever. My latest thing has been to listen to a spanish teacher recordings on my phone. Ever since I came to Malta, I been listening to this on the way to work, learning to say tengo hambre (and not tengo hombre).

The other day on the way from work, a car with an elderly couple stopped.

Man: Hola. Hablas espanol?
Gabbis: Ehm... solo un poco.
Man: Donde esta San Julian?
Gabbis: Ehm... ehm "ponting to him to go back on an other road".. calle alli, ala derecha... roundabout... circulo... el coche... grande autostrada...thinking of when the hell am I supposed to use tengo hambre
Man: Si?
Gabbis: Y autostrada... WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! *making airplane movements with hands to describe that you would go really fast on the high way*
So yes, maybe I should change that learning tape because I dont think that that description brought them to the right place. I have just simply spread the curse of being Lost in Malta.

Me, 4 years ago, lost in Barcelona.

Livets betapet

Sorry my english speaking readers, this one is only understandable in Swedish.

Jag har haft många perioder i mitt liv där jag varit beroende av betapet. Sen jag kommit till Malta har detta återigen skett, eftersom det är den största underhållningen på jobbet när saker är långsamma. Därmed har betapet återigen blivit en referens i mitt lilla liv.

Chatt med Malin (eller som Malin sa häromdagen att man borde försvenska chatt och kalla det för snack - vi ses på snacken).

Malin: nej det är i sig en sanning

jag måste jobba på att gå upp i td

td?!

VAR ÄR MINA VOKALER?!
Gabbis: Du kanske tror att vi spelar betapet och inte blir tilldelad några vokaler? Så kan det vara ibland. Med vokalerna alltså.

Malin: Vadå, livets betapet?
Gabbis: Haha. Ja! Vad gör du om livet ger dig konstonanter?
Malin: Då flyttar jag till Finland.

Gabbis: Hahahahaha! och om man bara får vokaler får man flytta till Kina!

Im back from that mountain

To be honest, I have had the computer back for a while now, but so many things have been going on in Malta (like work, work, a little bit of alcohol, work, work, being lost etc. You get the picture). But after some complaining from my dearest friends I will start blogging again.

We start where we left off. I got the computer back after a week. During that week I went out for walks, read a lot, wrote a bit on my new project (since Im not a big blogger that needs to keep anything secret, my new project is a chick-lit) and went to sleep much earlier than usual.

So you can say that that week wasnt boring.

IT WAS WORSE! IT FREAKING SUCKED!

But now Im back, I watched all the jersey shore episodes I missed, even started to watch an even worse TV show called Jerseylicious. Yes.

And do you guys want to know the funny thing about that week from hell. There was no problems with my charger, there is just a radial clerance with my adapter.

The Swedish girl who went up a mountain and never came back

Just before the rooster called out the start of a new day, I woke up and got ready for this monday mornings mission: to find a computer store in Malta. You see, Malta does not have a city center, their shops are just placed randomly, I imagine it is because they need something to do here.
"Lets go and find a shop" - mystery. Anyhow, prepered with a bottle of water and my computer, I set off.

Now you might wonder if I had any idea of where I was supposed to go. Well as always in Malta, I had looked at a map on the job computer, tried to remember where it was at, repressed all memories I had about how I was always lost and then started walking trying to find this little mountain store. It did not go too bad, after walking uphill for 45 minutes, I decided to stand on a stone, and there I was. But it is not enough to know where it is at, the biggest problem in Malta is to figure out how you are supposed to walk there. Nemas problemas, I thought, I will pretend that Im a car. I crossed a round-about as fast as a ferrari and saw a little sign "Klikk computer store" - go to the left. Happy about my success as a car, I started walking to the left.

But as always when I think I have figured out how the map system works in Malta, I was lost again. Soon I was surrounded by half-naked maltese men saying hello. Soon enough, however, I found a women in a worse state than me. Her car was broken down, and she was sitting underneath a palm three, relaxing, waiting for someone to come and fix her car.

- Excuse me, do you know how I can find Klikk computer store?
The women looked at me, with a smile that made me realize that she was feeling more sorry about my situation, than her own. After half giggling for like 2 minutes, she answered.
- Yes, well you kind of have to walk there dont you. So try to go up there, because the store is alongside the main road, and that´s not where you are right now.
I followed her advice, strangely enough, but it was the only one advice I had. After another 10 minutes, I was as close to the main road as I could be, if there wouldnt be a fucking fence between us.

But all of a sudden, Karma went on a break, and I found a hole, sneaked through it like I was rambo. But no, nowhere was the store to be seen. Since I walked around now for nearly 90 minutes and I had to go to my job, I decided it was time to go back, and just hope that the computer store would be on my way.

And guess what, IT WAS!

I went in, talked with this maltese IT-guy (yes he looked like you would expect him to look like if you work with computers anywhere at anytime) and after trying this and that, he stated with a clear voice.
- I believe that your problem is that your charger doesnt work.
Afraid that he would be offeneded, I did not mention that this was what I said when I came in to the store 15 minutes earlier.

He went to get me a new charger, and for some minutes there I was in heaven. Until we all realized that he could not accept my foreign credit card. Oh the joy.
So I just gave up, realized that I had to go to work now anyhow. And left. And talking about left, on the way back, I saw that if I had just walked right, instead of following the left sign, I would have saved 30 minutes of being lost.

You would think that this was the end of Gabbis looking for a computer store in the maltese mountains. But no. On the way back, I got lost. Ofcourse. I had no more water, I was about to start work and even though I was on top of a mountain where I could see the whole of Malta, I could not even locate where I lived, even less I could figure out where the fuck I worked.

After running around, screaming in a high pitch voice "WHERE IS THE SKATE PARK, WHERE IS THE SKATE PARK!" I finally found it. I ran, in 35 degrees celsius down the mountain, and somehow I found my job. 20 minutes late.

So now everyone, especially my boss, thinks Im a person without any job morals. Which is not true.

Im just a person without any sence of geography. And also a person without a computer.

THE END.

FML

WHY?! WHY KARMA?!

My computer is dying. It has exactly 14 minutes left because it has decided that it wont charge anymore. Can someone please tell me how to find a computer store in Malta? Do they exist? And if you know about a place, please send me a letter, since I will not be able to read any comments. Or be on facebook. Or watch jersey shore.

Goodbye.

The teenage years

Malin and I were once again talking about embarassing things and obviously we started talking about our teenage years and what we wrote in our diaries. I recollect specifically one submission.

When I was younger, I used to hang out with my cousins quite alot. Often, their cousins (which Im not related to, VERY IMPORTANT POINT TO THIS STORY) was with us as well.
The summer I turned 13 I was madly in love with my cousins cousin ( ONCE AGAIN; WE WERE NOT RELATED, THIS IS NOT AN INCEST STORY!) which we can call Erik.

From the diary (well sort of, since I dont have it with me in Malta, but this is how I remember it):
" We were going out for a swim, but I didnt have any swim wear. I borrowed someone elses, and I have to say, my boobs looked great in them! They were very big! As we came to the beach, my youngest cousin asked Erik if he wanted to be my boyfriend. He took a glance at my breasts and said "Yes". I dont know why, but I chickened out and screamed to his face: I WAS JUST JOKING! You know, before he could say that to me!"
Sadly, after this summer, we started a new school, and he became one of the cool ones, and I was obviously the geek and outcast.He ignnored the fact that he even knew me and my little teenage heart was forever broken. I didnt speak with him, he didnt look at my boobies UNTIL! I met him in a pub a couple of years ago.

He came up to me, with quite a flirty smile on his face and said:
- Hey, didnt you used to be my girlfriend when we were younger?
I stared at him, this now probably nice boy that had treated my teenage self so bad! I answered:
- No, that was just a joke.

And that, my friends, is what we call TEENAGE REVENGE! Booya! (also, we call it close-to-incest-experience).
The boy in this picture has nothing to do with this story, but this is taken when I was 17 years old.

What if - day 6

Day 6 : what If you could be another person for a day, who would you be?

There are always things that you wished that you had and people who has it, like money ( do I want to be Bill Gates), beauty (or Heidi Klum), Fame (maybe Brad Pitt), knowledge ( like Steven Hawking) or awesome humor ( like Eddie Izzard). But no, I dont want to be anyone of them. I think Im pretty awesome, so I wouldnt like to be anyone else because of any of those factors. I would however like some power. No, I dont want to be Obama, but I would like to be Kim Jong Il.


It is not because I like to look at things that much (http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/) but would it not be awesome to be him, give up his power and freaking liberalize this country once and for all?

No, I dont believe in all the glory of capitalism, but I most definitly believe in that more than the horrors of autocracy. Yes, there are obviously a group of horrible dictators that are just as bad. But at least, this also combines one of my oldest dreams of going to North Korea.

So it is like a win/win situation for everyone, except maybe for Kim Jong - Il...

Picture challenge - day 6

Day 06 - a picture of a hard time in your life you overcame


On a regular friday in HK, Annika and I was supposed to go to Macao with some friends. When the alarm bell rang, we realized that we, because of the previous night in LKF maybe enjoyed the free alcohol a bit too much, could not move an inch. Instead, we decided to sleep in for a bit and meet up with them later on. We did somehow manage to get to Macao, but we got lost. And spent 2 hours on a bus. And then 1 more hour looking for a map, until we ended up at the same place we started from. After maybe 4 really hung over hours, we found our friends and then Christer took us to a pizza place. The first part of the day was a really hard time in my life, but I overcame it with a little help from one of my best friends - cheese.

Annika and I, in Macao. Also, I would like to wish her happy birthday! So happy birthday Annika!

What if - day 5

Day 5 : what If you could ask God any one question, what would it be?

Actually, I dont think I would ask anything, because if I was given the chance to ask God anything, that would mean that he exists. So I would already know that. Also, I wouldnt like to know any of the answers to the "big questions", or what would happen in the future or how I would die. I think that the most amazing thing about being alive is that you can N E V E R know what´s going to happen. If I knew that, then my life probably would be a bit more boring (and obviously predictable) and I would not learn or experience what I need to learn and experience. Even though I would like to ask "Donde esta José?", the thrill of finding him would be lost.

But at the same time, it would be bad to waste such an opportunity. So I would probably ask if Elvis andTupac was still alive, and had like a secret society, where they planned different actions to "half reveal" themselves.

Scenario:
Elvis: Today, Im going to call into a radio show and say that Im Elvis!
Tupac: Ha! That is nothing! Im going to realese yet another single, that "someone" just found!
Big Foot: Oh, you guys are amateurs! I will go out for a walk in the forest and see if someone can take a blury picture of me.

Oh lord, I hope he answers yes!

Picture challenge - day 5

My blog pause is over, so lets get started again!

Day 05 - a picture of a time in your life that you miss.

I have lived for quite a long time now which means that I have lived in many cities, meeting many awesome friends. I do miss my friends at Beyond (Newcastle) and I do miss the student life in Gothenburg, and I do laugh when I remember that summer that I spent with my some of my closest friends in Falun. Even though I love all those memories, if someone came up to me and said that I could do one period of my life all over again, I would without a doubt in my mind say Hong Kong.

Right in the beginning...

Ofcourse people have asked me what HK was like, and it is always hard to explain. First of all, HK is an amazing city which has it all! The shopping, the night life, the sea, the nature, the free alcohol. But the one thing I miss the most, is the people. When you go on exchange, you are thrown together with people that are so different, but you biuld the strongest friendships in the shortest amount of time. I think that the sadest thing is that I can always go back to Gothenburg, Newcastle or Falun and most of my friends would be there or nearby, but The Hong Kong life will never be again.

Conversation with Malin

For you english speaking readers, you might not know that a regular feature on this blog is conversations with my best friend Malin (haha sorry Malin, since I cant use facebook at work, this was the only picture I could find on google). We usally talk about animals, but sometimes we talk about "the big questions". That happened the other day.








Malin: Ever since we talked yesterday, I cant stop thinking about what happens after you die! How you can just disappear from the face of the earth!
Gabbis: When I took a class in creative writing, my teacher read this short novel about a russian worker and how he dies and then, the last time someone says his name, and then the last time someone reads his name. After about a 100 year or so, there was no trace of this human ever being alive!
Malin: You live and you die, and then you have a burial place for a while, until someone else needs your spot, because you have been dead for too long, and they just died!
Gabbis: I read that Simon Cowell would freeze himself after he is dead!
Malin: Why?
Gabbis: Yes that is what I was thinking too? Im a dualist, and I dont think that your soul just hang around in your body in like forever! And anyhow, most people die from age, how can they fix that in the future? With a face lift?
Malin: And does people in the future really want Simon Cowell to be alive again?
Gabbis: It is not like our civilization hasnt got enough people on the earth! Will they have them like a back up-population. "Oh no, the swin flue hit us again, half of the earths population is dead, we better unfreeze Simon Cowell".
Malin: Also, where are they going to store all these bodies? Are they going to shot them out into space?
Gabbis: Is that Orion? No it´s just Simon Cowells dead body floating around!
Malin: Looking at the stars will have a entirely different meaning!

(As compensation for that picture, I googled myself and found this, hope we are even)

What if - day 4

Day 4 : what If one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?

No words are necessary.

Picture challenge - day 4

Day 04 - a picture you’re tagged in on facebook that you aren’t actually in.

Actually the whole student party committe that I was in back in Gothenburg is tagged in this picture, and I this could so easily be one of us. (Yes, ofcourse the lowest odds on actually recreating this picture would be on me).

The french loooove

We have many different nations represented at my work, but everybody sits in seperate areas (the swedes are in one, the french are in another and so on). The only time you actually meet someone who is not swedish is when you are in the lunch room. I have checked out this guy from the french team, and for some reason e is always in the lunch room when Im there. (OBVIOUSLY because he wants to be close to me, not that we are on the same lunch schedule or anything like that).

I have tried this Hello-onliner that is obviously the "thing" in Malta. I dont know if I pronounce it right or if Im just have not mastered the tone, but this pick up line is without success! Dont get me wrong, he says hello back, but the conversation stops there. I thought that he might not be interested in my wonderful companionship, until I realised that the most believable scenario is that he doesnt speak english, only french! (OBVIOUSLY, why would he not like my wonderful companionship?).

And that is a problem, the only thing I know in french, thanks to DeliPierre, is

"Montrer ma bit pour la popcorn" = OBS! Grandma, dont read the translation:
Show me your cock and you will get popcorn.

So to get to know this guy better I have two options:
- Learn some more french.
- Or say the things I know.

I think that the last option is the most obtainable one, so my plan is, next time I see him, I will use this line, trying to look like I dont know what it means.

Scenario:

Gabbis: Hello!
hot french guy: Hello!
Gabbis: Montrer ma bit pour la popcorn? (Point at the coffee cup, pretend that Im asking him if he wants coffee)
hot french guy: Que?
Gabbis: Montrer ma bit pour la popcorn? (Asking him how his day was)

I think this plan is safe as fuck! Save the date people, save the date!

Picture challenge - day 3

Day 03 - a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous

Are you kidding me? There is so many of them! But this is certainly one that is in the top. I was on a costume party and Im dressed as... can you guess? No neither could anyone else. People just thought I showed up with a normal dress... and really bad make up. My dearest of friends Sofi thought I had used the wrong concealer, and she was embarassed for my account the entire night until just when we were supposed to leave, and I explained to her that I was supposed to be:

The woman from the James Bond movie Goldfinger, who died from been given the gold treatment. But hm, in hien sight, I would claim that I look more like a rich oompa loompa. What do you guys think?

What if - day 3

Day 3 : What If the whole world were listening, what would you say?

I would like to think that I would make a joke, like:

Why didnt the the skeleton go to the party?
- Because he had nobody to go with

But actually, I think I would be very political. I just finished reading a self biograph about the war in Bosnia (In swedish: Sista kulan sparar jag åt grannen). The book describes how this woman see her friends and neighbours get torn into pieces by war and literally by bombs and former friends becoming enemies just because they have a different national identity. Brothers fighting on differents sides, because they have different fathers and young people becoming soldiers, to kill or to be killed. The thing that made the most impact on me however, was at the very end of the book, when she describes her and her sons first night in Sweden.

"The first night in Sweden, my two sons went out for a walk, to enjoy their newfound freedom. Suddenly a gang passes them on motorcycles, after a few minutes, the turn around, come back, and beat them up. I think that Sweden is a very open and liberal place, but as the rest of the world, there are ideas that some people from some nations are better than others. How long will it take for the world to understand, that nationality doesnt make you stand above anyone, we are all the same, flesh and blood - and should be judged as a person, not as a nationality"

So simple, but yet so hard. So I would stress the importance of equality. There is no "quality" difference between people, and there is no difference between men and women. We are just one humanity.

What if - day 2

Day 2 : what If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do?

Hm, first I thought I would answer that I would do everything in life that I enjoy the most, but then I relized, that it might not be suitable to do that. Like sleeping in, not really a good idea when time is precious. So, first of all, I would not sleep at all. Im seing myself, sitting in my room back in Falun, watching the sunrise, writting funny letters to everyone I love. I would have the biggest breakfast ever (especially plenty of swedish cheese sandwiches) with some of my closest friends gathered. After that I would go for a walk with my mum and talk about nothing and everything. Then I would rent a motorbike, cruize around for a bit and then come home and play some piano and eat some more cheese sandwiches.

I imagine the rest of the day being like a great wedding party. I would gather all my friends and family, wear an awesome white dress and then let everyone know how much I love them, by making cheesy speaches. I would get a bit drunk, not because I love it SO SO much, but because, I think that is how I would cope with the fact that I was about to die. And I would sing kareoke, and dance.

And then, two minutes before I die, I would write my last facebook status update:

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
- Because he was a funguy.

The End.

Picture challenge - day 2

Day 02 - a picture of you most recently taken

This picture if from this sinister night when I managed to turn of the electricity in my entire house. I think this picture reflects quite well how I felt: frustrated, in disbelief and in search for somewhere to hide. I think my comparison that night about me being Saddam Hussein of Maltese electricity was really on point, because can you see the resemblence in our facial expressions?

Embarassments

My friend Malin and I were talking the other day about things that all of a sudden creeps into your head. Those things are often embarassing memories, situations or feelings that you thought that you had forgot all about, but from nowhere rises to the surface, like a deadly shark attack! Your body always shiver with uncomfort and a sense of that you need to escape this situation FAST follows, but the problem is that it can sometimes be problamatic to get away from your own train of thoughts.

I often deal with these situations by banging my head really hard with my fist, saying loud and clear "NO GABBIS!". My strategy is simply to teach my brain that if it ever tries to recreat embarassing moments, it will be punished!
Malin on the other hand, deal with this in a more peaceful way, by singing LA LA LAAAAA! Which, unfortunaly, can create new embarassing memories, since walking around like you are on a Sound of Music-set, isnt always looked upon like a sign of mental health. Neither is banging your head with your fist, screaming out your name, come to think about it.

The most interesting thing is that it doesnt matter how old those memories are or that you even knew that they excisted, they dont even have to be that embarassing, the feeling of discomfort is still very manifestable.

I have one specific memory from when I was about 8 or 9 years old. In school, every friday we had like 30 minutes when a group of pupils had arranged something special for the class. I had gathered my whole class in the assemble room, for some singing. Ofcourse, since I since I was young liked being in the center of everything, I was the choirmaster. It should be added, that I didnt know anything about being a chorimaster, since I was 8-9 years old! All of a sudden, I point to one guy and yelled out, stomping my feet to the music: YOU! SING SOLO!
Everybody went quiet, except the guy who bravely started to sing by himself. So long, so good.

But since I actually had no idea what the term "solo" meant, I started to give everybody who wasnt singing an evil stare. WHY ARE YOU NOT SINING! I cried out in that high pitch voice that only mentally insane children can do. DONT YOU LIKE ME, WHY ARE YOU NOT SINGING! SING! SING! Everybody looked really uncomfterable and started to sing. HIGHER! HIGHER! I screamed from the top of my lungs! EVERYBODY SING HIGHER, AND YOU (I pointed to the solo guy again) YOU SING SOLO HIGHER WITH EVEYBODY ELSE!

Thankfully, I have not been a choirmaster since. I say thankfully, since if I had been allowed to do that again, imagine how many times a day I would have to beat myself up!

What if - Day 1

Day 1 : What If you were in a fire and you could only save one object what would it be?

You are probably supposed to answer that you would save pictures of your ex boyfriends cat or all your important papers and stuff. But since I am a restless soul that cant bring stuff with me everywhere I go, I have detached myself from most material things. Except for one thing. My SNES. So I would save my SNES and at the same time hope that I was wearing ALL of my white dresses when the fire started.

Picture challenge - day 1

Day 01 - a picture of you truly being yourself

Oh there are so many of them, but I have chosen this one:
White dress on - CHECK
Bangs all over the place - CHECK
Feeling the passion - CHECK
Enjoying "Dont stop believing" so much that you look like a retard - CHECK

Blog challenges

I have always tried to be original and creative when it comes to what I post on my blog. It is time to stop that. Even though Malta gives me plenty of insperation for blog posts, sometimes Im just uninspired. Therefore, I have decided to do a 30 day challenge (however, I will blog about other things to, like my new favorite topic Malta ABC). Since I found two interesting lists and have so many things to tell, I decided that Im going to do them both. Here they are:

The What if-challenge
Day 1 : what If you were in a fire and you could only save one object what would it be?
Day 2 : what If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do?
Day 3 : what If the whole world were listening, what would you say?
Day 4 : what If one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?
Day 5 : what If you could ask God any one question, what would it be?
Day 6 : what If you could be another person for a day, who would you be?
Day 7 : what If you could be invisible for a day what would you do and why?
Day 8 : what If you could choose how you were going to die, what would you choose your death to be?
Day 9 : what If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you do?
Day 10 : what If you could have only one food for the rest of your life (assuming that this strange situation would not affect your health), which food would you choose?
Day 11 : what If you could hear what someone is thinking for a day, who would you choose?
Day 12 : what If you could travel back in time, where would you go?
Day 13 : what If you got arrested for murder, whom would you call with your telephone call from prison? And why?
Day 14 : What would you do if you found the wallet of your next-door neighbor who you hated?
Day 15 : what If you could stop a bad habit that you have, what would you stop?
Day 16 : what If you found a suitcase full of $1,000,000, what would you do?
Day 17 : what If you had 25-hour days (while everyone else continued to have 24-hour days), what would you do with the extra time?
Day 18 : what If you had to choose between love and no money or money and no love for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
Day 19 : what if you were given three wishes what would they be?
Day 20 : what If you had to choose between your best friend and your boyfriend, which would you choose?
Day 21 : what If you had to choose, would you give up your sight or your hearing?
Day 22 : what If you received lottery tickets as a gift at the office party, and you won $30,000.00, would you share the winnings with the person that gave you the gift?
Day 23 : what If you saw a robbery, would you report it?
Day 24 : what If you were given a chance to go to the moon, would you go? Why or why not?
Day 25 : what If you were given one million dollars, what would you buy?
Day 26 : what If you were going to a deserted island and could only take three things with you, what would you take?
Day 27 : what If you were marooned on a desert island with one other person how would you survive?
Day 28 : what If you were walking through the forest and you suddenly saw a tiger, what would you do?
Day 29 : what If your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her?
Day 30 : What kinds of problems would you have if you had to always tell the truth?

The picture challenge

day 01 - a picture of you truly being yourself
day 02 - a picture of you most recently taken
day 03 - a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous
day 04 - a picture you’re tagged in on facebook that you aren’t actually in
day 05 - a picture of a time in your life that you miss
day 06 - a picture of a hard time in your life you overcame
day 07 - a picture you had no idea was being taken
day 08 - a picture of you with a fake smile
day 09 - a picture of you when you were a different person than you are now
day 10 - a picture of you in a swimsuit (whether you love or hate it)
day 11 - a picture of your craziest day.
day 12 - a picture of you with someone you love
day 13 - a picture of how you’d like the world to see you
day 14 - a picture that describes how you’d like to spend every day
day 15 - a picture of a time when everything was changing
day 16 - a picture that makes your heart hurt
day 17 - a picture that makes your heart smile
day 18 - a picture of one of the best times of your life
day 19 a picture of yourself when you were little.
day 20 - a picture of your "crew"
day 21 - your favorite picture of your best friend/s
day 22 - a picture of you on your birthday or favorite holiday.
day 23 - a facebook picture you have untagged yourself in.
day 24 - a picture you just couldn’t leave out.
day 25 - a picture of you in your favorite outfit.
day 26 - a picture of you from your favorite trip
day 27 - a picture of you from your favorite night out
day 28 - a picture of you in a silly costume.
day 29 - a picture of you when you are drunk.
day 30 - your favorite picture of all times.

Malta ABC

According to Gabi´s alphabet, we have now come to the letter M as in:I know one word in maltese (yes that is apparently a language) and that is hello, which suprise suprise, means hello.

In Sweden it is an unwritten law amongst all swedish people that you are NOT to speak to anyone, E V E R, that you dont know (unless you´re drunk, then everything goes). Even if you met a person several times, and probably have them on facebook, there is always an uncertainty if you are supposed to say hi to them if you see them on the street.

Therefore, the worst culture chock I have come into contact with here in Malta is that maltese men´s favourit word is hello!

When I was out walking (ehm, being lost as always) the other day, an older man with a dog stopped me, said hello and then explained that I should never ever give my mind, body or soul to anyone if I wasnt married. I didnt have the heart to tell him that that might be to late... Anyhow, after 10 minutes talking to him, he said goodbye and I wondered if I should ask him to be my facebook friend, since we already passed the awkward hello-dilemma. (Ehm, and also because Im a bit desparte after friends here in Malta). I didnt.

Otherwise, there is more often young men who wants to say hello, especially at night when Im walking home from work. Hello, hello, they say with a flirty smile, but I never stop ofcourse. But I wonder, does this hello-bit work on regular maltese women? Do they think that "ooh there is a charming fella, and he has such a way with words! I should stop and talk to him, then wait until we are married to give him my mind, body and soul!"

I just wonder, because if that is the case, then Hello is like the most genious pick up-line I ever heard!