The Swedish girl who went up a mountain and never came back

Just before the rooster called out the start of a new day, I woke up and got ready for this monday mornings mission: to find a computer store in Malta. You see, Malta does not have a city center, their shops are just placed randomly, I imagine it is because they need something to do here.
"Lets go and find a shop" - mystery. Anyhow, prepered with a bottle of water and my computer, I set off.

Now you might wonder if I had any idea of where I was supposed to go. Well as always in Malta, I had looked at a map on the job computer, tried to remember where it was at, repressed all memories I had about how I was always lost and then started walking trying to find this little mountain store. It did not go too bad, after walking uphill for 45 minutes, I decided to stand on a stone, and there I was. But it is not enough to know where it is at, the biggest problem in Malta is to figure out how you are supposed to walk there. Nemas problemas, I thought, I will pretend that Im a car. I crossed a round-about as fast as a ferrari and saw a little sign "Klikk computer store" - go to the left. Happy about my success as a car, I started walking to the left.

But as always when I think I have figured out how the map system works in Malta, I was lost again. Soon I was surrounded by half-naked maltese men saying hello. Soon enough, however, I found a women in a worse state than me. Her car was broken down, and she was sitting underneath a palm three, relaxing, waiting for someone to come and fix her car.

- Excuse me, do you know how I can find Klikk computer store?
The women looked at me, with a smile that made me realize that she was feeling more sorry about my situation, than her own. After half giggling for like 2 minutes, she answered.
- Yes, well you kind of have to walk there dont you. So try to go up there, because the store is alongside the main road, and that´s not where you are right now.
I followed her advice, strangely enough, but it was the only one advice I had. After another 10 minutes, I was as close to the main road as I could be, if there wouldnt be a fucking fence between us.

But all of a sudden, Karma went on a break, and I found a hole, sneaked through it like I was rambo. But no, nowhere was the store to be seen. Since I walked around now for nearly 90 minutes and I had to go to my job, I decided it was time to go back, and just hope that the computer store would be on my way.

And guess what, IT WAS!

I went in, talked with this maltese IT-guy (yes he looked like you would expect him to look like if you work with computers anywhere at anytime) and after trying this and that, he stated with a clear voice.
- I believe that your problem is that your charger doesnt work.
Afraid that he would be offeneded, I did not mention that this was what I said when I came in to the store 15 minutes earlier.

He went to get me a new charger, and for some minutes there I was in heaven. Until we all realized that he could not accept my foreign credit card. Oh the joy.
So I just gave up, realized that I had to go to work now anyhow. And left. And talking about left, on the way back, I saw that if I had just walked right, instead of following the left sign, I would have saved 30 minutes of being lost.

You would think that this was the end of Gabbis looking for a computer store in the maltese mountains. But no. On the way back, I got lost. Ofcourse. I had no more water, I was about to start work and even though I was on top of a mountain where I could see the whole of Malta, I could not even locate where I lived, even less I could figure out where the fuck I worked.

After running around, screaming in a high pitch voice "WHERE IS THE SKATE PARK, WHERE IS THE SKATE PARK!" I finally found it. I ran, in 35 degrees celsius down the mountain, and somehow I found my job. 20 minutes late.

So now everyone, especially my boss, thinks Im a person without any job morals. Which is not true.

Im just a person without any sence of geography. And also a person without a computer.

THE END.

Malta: First day

After a long night at Arlanda Airport I finally arrived to Malta this morning.
I believe that it is very important to experience and get to know every countries habits and traditions so the first thing I did to adept to the Maltese Culture was to take a siesta. After this awesome power nap (hm, it might not be called a nap when it is 4 hours long) I decided to go out and do some exploring. I hade two missions in mind:

1. Find something to eat.
2. Find a grocery store.

Everything started out very well, my hotel is located right next to the harbor, this is the view I have to live with for the next week:
The excursion started out well. I walked for about 10 minutes, found food and, can you believe my luck, a grocery store just around the corner from the restaurant! Overjoyed with the success of my first out-in-Malta-experience I decided to head back home. Instead of taking the same way back, I saw another street leading down to the sea, I then thought:

-THIS MUST BE A SHORT CUT! (For my swedish readers, this is another example from when I thought I found a short cut: LÄNK).

After walking along the seaside for about 10 minutes, I realized I didn’t recognize anything. "Hm", I thought, "I must be walking in the wrong direction". So I decided to turn around and walk the other way. After another 40 minutes, carrying necessities like cheese, orange juice and beer, I realized I was lost. It then hit me; Malta is a freaking island, on a map it is just like a mosquito shit in the middle of the sea. I can’t just walk along the bayside, because the funny thing about an Island you see, is that there is water EVERYWHERE!

"Okey, DONT PANIC!", I was hyperventilating, "Malta only has an area of 316 kilometers, that is NOTHING, start walking away from the water, up the hill and see if you can find your way from there". I started walking uphill, cursing over the fact that I decided to buy 6 beers, instead of one. After another 40 minute walk in small alley-ways I decided to regroup. Too proud to admit to any of the locals that I was lost and ask for directions. I decided to go into a small street and look at the tiny tiny map I had brought with me (OK, it was not really a map, It was just a picture of the neighborhood where my hotel is at, that I got with the room key).

Standing there, looking very confused, finally deciding to continue to walk uphill, I hear a voice.
- Yes?
I looked behind me, no one there; I looked in the parked car next to me, empty.
- Helloooo?
I looked up, and there was the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. The sunlight was hitting his face in way that made him look like a Mediterranean angel. The fact that he was speaking to me from the window above, didn’t help me NOT to thinking of him as some kind of a God.
- Where are you going?
With a bewildered face, I handed him the map to my hotel.
- Oh that hotel is just straight down this road. About a 5 minute walk.
He pointed in the opposite direction from what I previously planned to go.
- Thank you!

And yes, I made it home!

I think I’m going to like Malta. Especially if I get to meet lost in translation-angels every now and then.

Gabbis storstadskvinnan

Jag har bott i Göteborg i cirka två år nu sammanlagt och jag tycker ändå att jag har ganska bra koll på läget. Jag har mitt favorithak, jag vet var de obskyra skivaffärerna ligger och jag kan många ordvitsar. Jag cruisar fram på gatorna och hånar de stackars besökarna som vrider och vänder på kartor med ett litet Ha Ha (franskt hånskratt) . Jag är Gabriella med stort G -den belevade storstadsmänniskan.

Men ack nej. Acklimatiseringskarma kom snabbt ifatt mig idag när jag istället för att åka spårvagn hem skulle cykla. Jag tog den närmaste vägen mitt fantastiska lokalsinne kunde lista ut. Tycker ni inte bara att det är alldeles fantastiskt att upptäcka sin stad på en cykel klockan halv elva på natten iförd tights och klänning i 10 graders värme medan radion spelar alla som inte dansar är våldtäktsmän så fort man cyklade in i valfri vilseskog?